Sexological Bodywork is a unique forum to put focused attention on the challenges that occur within intimate connection, without the presence of a partners’ responses, expectations, or needs. This is a rare opportunity to meet all that is provoked in arousal with support for greater presence, free of your own, or anyone else’s expectations. According to your intentions, we make room for full pleasure, and also hold compassionate, safe space to be with anything else that arises which may inhibit your desired experience.
Sexological Bodywork may include:
- Sensual & Educational Bodywork
- Masturbation Coaching
- Anatomy Mapping of your unique arousal or numbness
- Therapeutic Kink for psychological, energetic and somatic healing
As a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, I always remain clothed and I wear gloves for any genital touch. Typically, I don’t do bodywork in our first session, as I want to ensure that you begin with good communication of boundaries and desires.
Wait, did you say ‘Masturbation Coaching’?!
Yes! It’s time we not only admit that we’re masturbating, and that it helps us meet an intrinsic need, but to value this access to pleasure and learn how to make it even more fulfilling!!
In Sexologocal Bodywork, your body is the primary classroom for your learning as you are both student and researcher. For most of us, masturbation is our first venture into sexuality, and just like so many other realms of sex, we have little to no guidance or even encouragement to know or seek our own arousal. Because of that neglect, we tend to lock ourselves into patterns that limit our capacity for what any erotic experience can be.
So, for the centuries and mountains of religious and cultural shame that have been dumped on this simple act of self-exploration, soothing, and pleasure, I want to proclaim that ITS NATURAL AND HEALTHY to touch yourself in ways that feel good to you.
In this modality, I offer an array of intentionally structured sessions of self-love for you to expand your literacy of your own arousal, as a foundation of how/if/when you share that with anyone else. Especially in an era of rising consent consciousness, I believe wholeheartedly in beginning sex education with ourselves before branching out into sharing our sexual desires and requests with others.
Communication is the best lubrication and the brain is your biggest sex organ!
Most of my clients have spent a lot of time approaching their sexual frustrations through a psychological lens, and while it’s very helpful to understand our stories, traumas, patterns and blocks from an intellectual perspective, that approach is simply incomplete. Because these issues live IN THE TISSUE of our bodies, they are much more easily and effectively met and shifted by addressing them directly through the body. We begin this by developing more awareness of what is happening in the body when even just talking about erotic issues
When it comes to communication for successful relating, most of us have a lot of UNlearning to do. We weren’t given a manual for this essential aspect of our lives, and it’s likely that we picked up behaviors and beliefs early on that continue to shape our interactions. As we become aware of unconscious and unhelpful habits, it’s useful to have a safe, judgement-free place to expose and rework those patterns. I help you see where you are, and why you may be having the experiences you are. Together, we explore compassionately ways to build the experiences that would be more fulfilling for you.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” -C.G. Jung
The shadow of any dualistic construct will gain power as it is denied, and eventually, one subversive way or another, that power will have its day in the sun. Within a culture that favors quantity over quality, action over stillness, appearance over sensation, it is only natural to feel resistance as we encounter the truth of our inner knowing. Being gently but firmly held to meet those crunchy places is the support many of us need in order to engage with and potentially overcome the things that are causing the greatest discomfort. There is a space where it’s ok to not know what to do, to admit that you’re not in control, and to discover, for yourself, whether what you fear is real.
Healing doesn’t guarantee the absence of pain, but a respite from it in the presence of love, and a relief in knowledge of how to live WITH all the parts that have previously held unnecessary suffering in their not having a good role in your story, or a job to do. When undesirable aspects of ourselves or our experience are explored with acceptance and compassion, they are metaphorically brought into the light, where change can happen. I don’t see peace as the absence of war, and I don’t propose that we absolve you of your wounds. No part of you is unredeemable, just as no part of humanity is wholly evil. When pain is welcomed and well held, the gifts that reside next to the wounds can be revealed and come alive, with that same life-giving flow of eros that is your birthright.
Life Stage Transformation:
As reflections of nature, we all go through various cycles of death and rebirth, some more internal and some more overt. These intense processes, while entirely individual, are not meant to be navigated alone. Utilizing technologies both ancient and intuitive, I introduce you to some forms to help hold you through what can feel like a formless abyss of unknown. This work can be done one-on-one, building lifestyle structures to integrate it into your life and relationships, or in groups, by various design. To learn more about my ongoing work with women’s rite of passage journeys, see Tree of Life Women’s Initiation.
“I’m experiencing real intimacy with a woman for the first time in almost thirty years…”
“I met Kait after years of having given up on experiencing myself as a sexual person. I pretty much figured that past trauma, unsatisfying relationships and feeling scared and avoidant about sex and being sexual were all that was left for me. I was hesitant at first to work with her and the outlines of our work were unfamiliar, something that both increased my anxiety and fueled a sense of hopelessness about trying a different kind of work. The process of learning how to communicate more honestly and directly was incredibly exciting and moving. With Kait, I learned more about accepting myself and approaching what I might need—not only about sexual connection, but about connecting with anyone at all—than I’ve probably learned in any adult relationship. It does not mean that I lost all my fear or everything has worked out happily ever after. It does mean that Kait’s combination of lovingkindness, skill and wisdom in helping me to recover parts of my life and vitality that have been lost or deeply buried was profoundly transformative for me. I directly credit her work with me in allowing me to experience real intimacy with a woman for the first time in almost 30 years. Perhaps more important I was able to learn much more about how to experience and articulate my own feelings, bodily states, wishes and desires. Working with Kait was like going to a great school to learn how to be a better human, much more rooted in the truth. ~Michael, Berkeley, Ca